Project Runway show review

How important is Project Runway to the fashion world? Not at all. None of the editors I've seen all week were here. They were at Ralph Lauren.

How important is Project Runway to Jennifer Lopez? She bailed on her guest judge job at the last second due to a foot injury. Heidi Klum summed up everyone's feelings about this when she said, in her intro to the show, "We're all very, very sad. I hope she gets better very soon." Tim Gunn bravely took her place.

How important is Harvey Weinstein? Let me once again allow Ms. Klum to explain: "Before I announce the guest judge, I have to give a quick kiss to Harvey Weinstein because he's so cute. And because I can."

I have never seen Project Runway, but I was able to follow the proceedings anyway. I'm a genius.

When the season finale airs, only three designers will remain, but they had six of the designers show in order to keep the secret going. Sly, Project Runway, sly.

The first two designers - Jerell and Suede - were incredibly bad. Like threads hanging off dresses and a pin keeping one dress bunched in the front so it fit. Jerell likes to use as many materials as he can, and Suede, despite his mohawk, seems like he he was deeply inspired by Fashion Plate Barbie.

The third guy, Joe, made cool leather and denim outits that looked like stuff members of Aerosmith would buy for their girlfriends. But nice; he even made a paisley print that wasn't ugly. How the hell did you do that Joe? Well done.

Kenley made cute, Brooklyn-hipster, Zooey Deschanel clothes: the wide geometric hips were cool as was the sleeveless black dress with black feathers that came up to the neck.

The sceond best was Korto, despite the fact that she said to the audience, "Don't I look hot?" What were we supposed to say? "No, Korto, not especially"? Stop leading the witnesses Korto.

Korto was really good, though. She made nice prints, which is tough to do. And the fabric she used for the tight fitted bright blue dress was striking. Korto also is fond of the the super short dress, which I gave her points for.

But the best was Leanne, the 27-year-old who went to FIDM in L.A., where my wife went for a year for textile design. It was elegant and cutting edge, girly but cool and etheral without being stupid. She only worked in two colors - blue and light yellow - and had one idea: geometric pleats. It felt like a real fashion show, if simple and short. So like part of a real fashion show.

The other weird thing about the Project Runway show was that none of the models looked like models. They looked like what you'd think models would look like. Like models on a TV show. They weren't all skinny and super-young and washed out Eastern European looking with striking eyes. Instead they were exotic.

The bottom line: I'm not watching Project Runway.