Victoria's Secret - the secret I didn't want to know

I woke up super-early to go to the Victoria's Secret presentation. I figured there would be more models lounging around in outfits, like at the Halston presentation, only these ones would be half-naked and have breasts.

It turned out it was a powerpoint presentation by the CEO. It was like waking up for Christmas and discovering it was CEO PowerPoint Day.

So I'm stuck in a chair trying to look interested, listening to CEO Sharen Turney say, "So what's next for Victoria's Secret?" And the two lookbooks they gave us - to my shock - are just product shots of underwear without any models in them. Meanwhile, wet so many model-filled VS catalogs at my house that I'm pretty sure they put that thing out as a morning and afternoon paper. And yet they couldn't find a model for the lookbook? At first I thought Turney was an Amy Sedaris character and this was just a prank. But I don't think it was.

I learned that the main thing they look for in a new "supermodel" is "confidence," followed by "the ability to give back to the community." I'm guessing number three is a tie between a huge heart and a working knowledge of constitutional law. And number four is a smoking body.

Turney also said this: "There is a wheel of sexy. There's glamorous sexy and it goes up to overtly provocative trashy."

I've spend a lot of time thinking about the Wheel of Sexy and it confuses me. Does it really spin right back to glamourous sexy from trashy, so they're right next to each other? Or is it a wheel that doesn't spin? If it does spin, can anyone spin it at will like a dreidel, or is it heavy and slow like the Price is Right one? I am not surprised that I don't understand the Wheel of Sexy.