Anna Wintour – WTF?

I knew she was the fashion lady with the sunglasses who apparently is a lot like the devil and enjoys Prada. That much I knew.

What I did not know is that she's absolutely crazy.

I've seen her at just about every event I've been to for three days and I offer this as evidence of her insanity:

Fact one: She wears sunglasses all the time. The lights during fashion shows are not that bright. Wearing sunglasses inside is just weird.

Fact two: As soon as a show ends, she runs as fast as she can for the door as if there were a giant delicious chocolate cake right outside and she was a person who would eat cake. I don't know if this is supposed to imply that she's super-important and another show is waiting to start until she gets there, or that she's super-important and can't stay and talk.

Fact three: She has bodyguards. I've interviewed a lot of celebrities and you know who has bodyguards? Nobody. Not Jessica Simpson, not George Clooney, not Leonardo DiCaprio.

I walked up to one of the bodyguards and asked him if she indeed has two bodyguards. "At least," he said. He was a pretty big guy and seemed amused by his stupid assignment, so I asked him if he could handle a client who needs bodyguarding a little more than Anna Wintour. "I think so," he said. "I have."

I asked everyone why Anna Wintour would need a bodyguard and someone mentioned that PETA threw paint at her once. So I asked Lisa Lange, senior vice-president of PETA if she was the reason Anna Wintour has a bodyguard. "I think she has them because she supports cruelty to animals and as a result has been the focus of protests, but I think she also has them because she's a wretched person who's made herself very unpopular in many circles."

I don't know about that. And for all I know she has a stalker and is claustrophic and has some weird condition where she's sensitive to light. I just know it all comes off as really weird.

Still, I like that she publishes Jeffrey Steingarten.