Thom Browne show review

No one famous goes to a men's fashion show. There's just no buzz at all. Yet the male audience members and models put on the same super-serious faces as they do at women's shows. A men's fashion show is a little like a WNBA game.

Still, this Thom Browne guy was playing like Sheryl Swoopes. I mean, what the hell was that? He can't expect men to actually wear this stuff. I know people buy his suits - even guys like George Stephanopoulos – but the stuff I saw, that was just to make a point, right? If there's a guy who is buying the furry shorts that go up to your nipples, or the boxers sewed into pants that hang around your ankles, or the see-through tennis racquet print nightgown over black sweatpants with a tail, or the tutu worn over pants, I would love to watch a half of a reality show about him.

This is what I learned about Thom Browne: he likes tennis (his set was a grass court; he used racquet prints), he's a bit of a fascist (wristbands as armbands; scary music), he's comfortable with androgyny (dude in a wedding dress), he likes science fiction and he either went to a prep school and isn't happy about it or wishes he went to a prep school and isn't happy about it. I'm not sure I'd be friends with Thom Browne.

After a while, though, Thom Browne kind of won me over a little bit. Why does men's clothing have to be so boring. I'm sick of my pants and jackets and button-up shirts. Why can't my pants have a cool apron thing in front? Why can't I wear a shirt that's attached to my pants all in one piece? And I wouldn't mind a suit that shows my ankles; it seems less dumb than these too-long jeans I'm always tripping over. Plus, it would show off my shoes. And, yes, more seersucker! Seersucker ties, indeed. Super-long seersucker jackets and normal-length ones with gold buttons.

Seriously, I've given this thought: I would wear the apron pants.